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01 November 2010 @ 07:58 pm
Like a Fish to Water  
Title: Like a Fish to Water

Rating: PG

Pairing: Donghae/Everyone friendship, Implied HanHae, QMi, KangTeuk, and YehWook

Warnings: not much other than the fact i really don't know if this makes any sense of not

Summary: Donghae sees the world in a kind of double vision.

When Donghae is born it is into a world of fantastic images and colors, bright yellow sunshine from underneath the darkened waves of an ocean, a sea of emotions rolling around and through him, and a cacophony of voices in his head.

As he grows older he shuts out the voices, one by until he is alone is his head, recognizing his mother, his father, his brother, his friends, but knowing instinctively that the only voices and thoughts belonging in his head were his own, and the emotions are only a vague awareness tickling at his mind.

But no matter how much he tries the images remain and he interprets the world in a kind of double vision, his mothers yellow sun glowing from her heart and constant companion too the dark waves that crash around his father. And that is how he lives his life, seeing people in two ways, always one before the other, then entwined and inseparable. It is the only way he’s ever known and he comes to enjoy his unique perspective he no realizes no one else has.

Until one day, a voice slips into his head, foreign emotions tainting his own. And slowly it wears away at him, widening the  crack and weakening it, until all of his defenses shatter in a single instant and the colors fade into an inky blackness.

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When Donghae awakens he is alone, but can still feel the voices in his head, screaming, panicked, worried, and the corresponding emotions in the air buffet at him until he panics and crashes off the bed, backing away frantically until he is cowered in a corner, head clutched in his hands as he frantically tries to rebuild walls that are being torn down as soon as he lays the first brick.

Donghae hears the door open, and looks up to see Leeteuk cautiously enter the room, and he is reminded of the first time they met, white swirling around him, bathing everything in pale glow. But even then, as now, Donghae was aware of Leeteuk’s shadows, hidden, changing, growing, and shrinking.

Sometimes the white is so bright it is almost painful to look at, burning into Donghae’s retinas as Leeteuk’s laughter sends flecks of shining brightness bouncing around the room. At other times the dark grows suffocating and solid until all that’s left of the light is a tiny pinprick that flickers and flashes  in a struggle to stay alive. It is at these moments that Donghae likes to curl up next his leader, and cups the light in his hands and nurtures it back into a strong glow once again. And when even he can do nothing he passes the light to Kangin, whose mere presence can bring the light back from that edge.

But now Donghae watches blankly, liquid crystal falling from his eyes, as this glow makes it’s way towards him. Leeteuk too, looks at Donghae, and with every second Donghae can see Leeteuk’s heart bleeding black and swirling into the white like  ink, tainting everything as it goes.

 Donghae cries harder when he catches a glimpse of darkness dripping from Leeteuk’s eyes to match his own tears.

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Next to come is the approaching rumble of thunder that Donghae knows means Kangin is near, and soon enough there is wisps of clouds coming from under the door. The door opens, and steel grey is boiling through, crackling with lighting and rolling thunder.

When Kangin approaches Donghae can see the storm lessening, and yellow sunlight peaks out from behind the clouds, things Kangin wants to say but doesn’t know how to express. Looking and peaking but never appearing entirely.

Donghae always watches closely for the moments when the sun breaks through to paint works of art in warm yellow on all that surrounds the man. He snatches these moments up greedily and commits them to memory, something to be treasured, for they are often reserved solely for Leeteuk.

Slowly the sun hides itself once again, and Kangin stands awkwardly in front of Donghae before, kneeling to roughly pull him into a hug.

Donghae’s eyes are still blankly tracking the play of lighting and swirling clouds, and so he only notices when they darken to almost black as Kangin leaves the room.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Sungmin is his next visitor, and Donghae can’t help but smile slightly through his tears.

Sungmin is all pink and love and hearts, with a center of fierce red as hard as diamond. The hearts whirl and play, giggling and awash  in a sea of pink, and Donghae giggles a little along with them, and as always, Sungmin seems to brighten his day just by being around.

Sungmin has a great deal of these hearts, and he often shares them with everyone he meets, but rarely does he give them away, and so when one comes to rest in front of him Donghae reaches out in amazement to gingerly touch it.

He brings it into his hands and cradles it like it’s the most precious, fragile thing in the world. He has to take good care of it, for it is Sungmin’s and Sungmin gave it to him.

Donghae is so focused on the heart in his hands that he doesn’t notice as several more crash to the ground and shatter, sparkling confetti strewn about, as Sungmin struggles to contain his sobbing.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Heechul  barges into the room with no fanfare and walks straight up to Donghae to stare him straight in the face.

Donghae likes watching Heechul and takes this opportunity to do so. Heechul is hard edges and sloping curves, a fun house mirror that never quite seems to reflect back quite what Donghae expects. There are cracks and gaps in the mirror, but Donghae thinks that they add to, rather than detract from that which is Heechul.

These mirrors occasionally shift, and Donghae likes to think that occasionally, Heechul will move them aside the allow him glimpses of the man that lies underneath, a secret for the two of them to share.

Donghae watches as a pair of eyes appear in a particular large gap in the mirror, before the twisted and distorted image of himself splits down the middle, crumbling and sliding away.

What’s left is simply Heechul, eyes wide and containing an unbelievable sadness as he locks gazes with Donghae. Soon enough the mirrors are back and Heechul leaves once again.

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A little bit of tension drains away when Shindong comes to see him. Shindong is strong as the earth, a tree standing tall and proud reaching its branches far over the heads of everyone around him.

Donghae enjoys sheltering under the shade of these branches, in Shindong’s humor and personality, when life becomes difficult. There is no living tree that quite compares to Shindong’s magnificence, every thing wonderful and good about them rolled into one, a comforting presence.

Sometimes, when Donghae has nothing better to do he sits back and tries to count the leaves on Shindong’s branches, never making in far before Shindong’s laugh sends the branches rustling and Donghae has to start over again.

Donghae knows that there are three less than there used to be, however, because they have just landed on his upturned face and turned to dust.

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Ryeowook peers cautiously around the edge of the door, and it is like the sunrise that Donghae sees whenever he looks at Ryeowook, light spilling over the horizon to reflect off the greenest grass and form pins of light from the dew drops.

As Ryeowook comes up to him, and grabs both of Donghae’s hands and cradles them between his own, Donghae’s eyes follow the green that shimmers through Ryeowook’s veins. He looks to the dew that beads on his skin. And glances up into the sunrise in his eyes before quickly looking away from the bright light contained within.

Donghae really loves Ryeowook. Ryeowook is young, and innocent, refreshing, and Donghae dreads the day he’ll come to the sunrise clouded over, the grass brown and dying. But Donghae decides that it will never come to that because he is the hyung, and he will always be there to protect Ryeowook.

As Donghae thinks this, a blade of grass withers and dies under his hand, tears dripping to land glistening and indistinguishable from the dew.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Yesung is next, bringing with him his own night sky and collection of stars and planets, a comforting darkness that only gives way to Ryeowook’s dawn.

Donghae has always loved the night sky and Yesung is no exception. Donghae creates constellations, the raccoon, the horse, the rabbit, in the stars that float motionless and breathtaking in the air around Yesung. He watches the planets that drift slowly around Yesung, and names them all, Planet Han Geng covered in blue, Planet Siwon red and fiery. The each have their own name.

  Donghae was amused when he first discovered that Yesung had  somehow attached a star to him, and the rest of his members. They were all in different places, but Ryeowook’s was the only once that resided over his heart.

Donghae raises his hand to contemplate the glittering orb on it’s back, and whether or not Yesung’s planets could have life on them.

A few stars flicker and go dark.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Kibum is interesting, Donghae thinks.

Kibum is a city covered in fog, Sky scrapers and buildings looming out of the mist at a moments notice. Sometimes the fog is so thick you can’t see the hand in front of your face, and Donghae quickly finds his way out of the room at those points, It’s not often his second vision completely eclipses his normal sight, and when it happens he panics.

Maybe that’s why he likes spending time with Kibum so much. When Kibum is happy the fog lightens up, and Donghae can blow it away so he can dart through the streets of the city, peering into windows and mapping out everything.

Then the fog moves back in, and the next time Donghae can see the city, it’s changed, and Donghae delightedly begins the process all over again.

But today isn’t one of those days, grey creeping and solidifying, the more Donghae panics and cries. He looks around blindly but can do nothing more than grasp tightly to the hand that he can’t see.

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Henry brings his violin. Donghae remembers the first time he met Henry and found out he was rain. Not the thundering storm of Kangin, but a gentle shower tapping out rhythms against his skin, and smelling of fresh mountain air and the promise of spring.

Henry begins to play, and the rain accompanies him, dancing and playing in time to the song, sometimes speeding up and raining harder, sometimes slowing down to the bareest drizzle. Donghae reaches out a hand to catch the rain drops as they fall and hums along to henry’s music.

He continues this long after Henry has quit playing because his hands are shaking so bad, but Donghae can still hear the music,  the rain drumming it into his head.

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Zhou mi has flowers in his hair. They bloom and blossom, and vine down around his body and arms to sprout out and branch onto everything he meets. Zhou mi isn’t just flowers, but an entire field stretching as far as the eyes can see.

Zhou mi has flowers grow in his footsteps, and a flower for each occasion. They grow from his clothes, and when he exchanges a touch with another, he also leaves behind a flower.

Donghae collects them, has them dried and pressed, dandelions, tulips, sunflowers, daisys. But only one person receives roses, and Donghae always watches with wonder as the entire room blooms with red roses as Kyuhyun walks in.

It’s a lily that Zhou mi gives him today, and  Donghae smiles and puts it in his hair, and catches petals as they fall away one by one.

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The autumn wind that accompanies Kyuhyun every where is chilly, but not uncomfortably so. The winds stirs up papers and hair, and bites  much like Kyuhyun does.

Donghae had thought that wind was impossible to see until he met Kyuhyun, but now realizes hoe wrong he was, golden dust swirling up into the air, red and orange leaves caught in the breeze and whirled all over the room, floating in the air and rising from the ground.

Kyuhyun often has leaves stuck in the most ridiculous places, halfway in his shirt, to the side of his face, his hair windswept, and wild, but Donghae finds it cute, not that he would, or could ever tell Kyuhyun that.

When Kyuhyun leaves the room, there are almost always a few leaves left behind that Donghae patiently gathers and puts  with Zhou Mi’s flowers. Sometimes he wishes he was Zhou Mi, so his leaves would follow him around everywhere, like a little entourage.

There are more that a few leaves left behind this time, the entire room  carpeted with them as Kyuhyun finally gives up on getting Donghae to talk, and leaves.

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Eunhyuk is Donghae’s best friend and Donghae normally loves to see him, and especially watch him dance.

Eunhyuk has a rainbow that dances with him, bright colors changing shift, morphing from one to the next, moment to moment. They are never the same, and barely there long enough for Donghae to put name to them before they dance out of sight.

Donghae secretly thinks that Eunhyuk is much the same way.

Sometimes Eunhyuk dances the sweep of his arm is a vibrant green, the flick of a hand send s out a wash of royal purple, Sea green following in his footsteps. And other times, its gold or silver, or a fiery orange that flickers in the arc of his back and snap of his hips.

Today however, Donghae is saddened to see Eunhyuk’s bright colors are muted, and his body seems to be heavy, slumped, and not at all ready to dance.

However, it doesn’t stop Donghae from smiling as he sits and listens to Eunhyuk’s chatter, as the colors continue to bleed out one by one.

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Siwon comes to him next, the room heating up in his presence, the ever present fire burning just beneath the skin leaking out to heat the air around him.

Most of the time Siwon is smoldering embers and comforting warmth, a protective blanket to have around  when life is harsh and cold. But Donghae is always hyper aware of the raging inferno contained just beneath the surface, capable of leaping out and burning him with out a moments notice.

Donghae often watches from a distance as Siwon’s inner fire flares up as his stubborn personality kicks in, tongues of flame lick at everything around him, leaving scorch marks as sparks fly through the air. And then as Siwon slowly brings himself back under control, the fire returning bit by bit back under his skin, and cooling into the glowing embers that have a permanent residence in his chest.

Donghae can’t really bring himself to care as he curls up against Siwon, with Siwon’s arms wrapped protectively around him. No matter what flames lick at his skin, Donghae doesn’t care, and focuses completely on the overwhelming voices and emotions that are somehow still making their way through Siwon’s burning anger.

Donghae wonders at the fact that its cool enough for his tears to reach the ground without burning up.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Donghae is alone once again, voices saddened and worried still replaying  over and over in his head. He ignores the creaking of the door to pull frantically at his hair, and slam his eyes shut as he tries to block out the new waves to stimuli that comes with it.

Almost before he can think another thought, Donghae can feel water wash over him, rising up above his head, swirling and pulling at his clothes and pulling at his hair. It envelopes him in a protective cocoon, and slowly, slowly, the voices begin to fade, Donghae’s emotions become his own again.

Donghae open’s his eyes into a pair of dark whirlpools of concern and love, and watches as Han Geng, water and grace, rippling currents and ebbing tides, reaches out to bring a hand to whisper across his face and down his cheek. Donghae reaches up and  presses the hand to his face, as a smile comes to his face, his mind once again his own.

Han Geng pulls him to his feet and Donghae laughs a little, as he stare at his own hand in Han Geng’s, scales, outlined in silver, covering the back.

Han Geng is Donghae’s safety, Graceful and fluid, water constantly moving and churning. Sometimes the water is dark and cold in anger, sometimes, clear in warm happiness, and joy, rolling and bubbling in excitement, or still and stagnant in sadness. But no matter what, it is almost as much Donghae’s as it is Han Geng’s

Donghae’s world is one of many colors, and fantastic images, and sometimes it becomes a little strange, but most of the time he wouldn’t trade it for anything.

As he leaves the room hand in hand with Han Geng, and catches sight of the full splendor of his friends in his second sight he grins.

He is special, able to go places and see things that no one else can, but in the end, he looks at Han Geng fondly, a fish belongs in the water.



lol, did this make any sense at all? it just kind of hit me today, and it literally wouldn't leave me alone so i wrote it down but.......

basically Donghae is some sort of weird empath that can kinda...... see a representation of your soul? or something similar anyway. arghhhhhh. i don't even know TT.TT

 
 
 
Taffy "Miracle Shining" Anderson: Lovemiracleshining on November 2nd, 2010 02:42 am (UTC)
I LOVED This. I would try to put all my feelings into words but I wouldn't be able to do so.

An utterly exquisite piece.
melodyprower11melodyprower11 on November 2nd, 2010 02:50 am (UTC)
THANK YOU~ You're definitely one of my favourite authors here on LJ so that really means a lot to me.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
summer0smilessummer0smiles on November 2nd, 2010 08:16 am (UTC)
How beautiful this is! Omg. You have no idea how much I love this.

Sometimes Eunhyuk dances the sweep of his arm is a vibrant green, the flick of a hand send s out a wash of royal purple, Sea green following in his footsteps. And other times, its gold or silver, or a fiery orange that flickers in the arc of his back and snap of his hips.

How I love this! Just perfect! =)

It's amazing how you can weave emotions with your words so effortlessly. Sad yet beautiful at the same time it touched my heart. Gosh, I have no idea how many times I'm going to use this word beautiful here. Lol. Simply loving this!
melodyprower11melodyprower11 on November 2nd, 2010 01:12 pm (UTC)
hehehe~ thank you~ That was the part that gave me the most trouble actually XD
Our Heroine aka Jenn: [teukie]kyttenfae on November 2nd, 2010 08:45 am (UTC)
... that was breathtaking. It did make sense. A lot of it, in a way that just sweeps you up with it. I thought your choices for imagery for each of the boys was /really/ good, and the way Donghae reacts to each one made perfect sense for him. I loved it, and wished it was twice as long. *G* <333333333333333
melodyprower11melodyprower11 on November 2nd, 2010 01:11 pm (UTC)
^___^ ah thanks~ I've written anything like this befoer so i'm glad you liked it ~
FollowUrDestiny: hanhaefollowurdestiny on November 2nd, 2010 10:58 pm (UTC)
♥ ... HanHae - like a fish in the water :) ♥ All these characterizations ♥
melodyprower11melodyprower11 on November 2nd, 2010 11:08 pm (UTC)
thanks~ kekekeke~
jarield: SiHae hugjarield on November 3rd, 2010 05:53 am (UTC)
Damn!!! You can write!!! I mean, you really could...

This is what you call literature... I seriously couldn't understand much because of all the artistic portrayal of words... But I think that is the magic of the story...

And TBH, your writing portrayed them perfectly well... No words to describe but to say one of the best fics I had read in a while...

Hope to see more great stories from you...
melodyprower11melodyprower11 on November 3rd, 2010 01:49 pm (UTC)
aw thanks~ ^^

I'm happy you think so. I hope i don't end dissappointing, kekekeke~